Poetic Confession #3

Published March 26, 2012 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

I’m now happy as hell

To play the famous Bell Div De Voe jingle

I guess there is nothing more complicated

Than being just plain single

After I lost my virginity

I became happy at first

Then I just quit being that way

Every time my life situation got worse

The family that I have now

Is all I got to love, friends too

I thank the Lord Jesus

For All He Can Do

I can’t blame anybody for my lost virginity

The first time of a man making love to me

Hurt but felt so goddamn beautiful at the same time

I’ll be happy for that eternally

The relationship I had recently

It was motherfucking fake any goddamn way

My intuition was right at that time

What more can I say?

When I get back to community college

I’ll stay in class every day

I’ll do all nighters if necessary

Homework will not stand in my way

I’ll start trying to get my life better

I’ll never go crazy being silly

Just save that for my niece + nephew

I’ll get my life better even if it kills me

I’ll take the time to study

Every way from school to home + back again

I’ll try Theater Spring Semester 2012

+ take acting + writing for a spin

Just then, Ma likes + comments on my marital status

“Awww, Megan,” she wrote

“the motherfucker must not have wanted me any goddamn way, Ma.  Forget it!  I am not going to let that happen to me, not never!”Was the exact reply comment I just then wrote.

I don’t know what has happened to love

But now chivalry is dead…living dead + infected

Jesus, I know You died for the world, myself included

+ in three days You were resurrected

I really miss Freshman Year in high school

The very notes in my talents I used to be + still am killing

The one person I miss the most

He is still my reason I’m the shit:  Dillon

For right now, though, I got what I got

I realize that I can only make my life worse or better

To all you haters who want nothing but misery from me:  one word:

Whatever.

Thank you, Katt Williams,

For making me say what

I really want to say to Satan:

I.  Don’t.  Give.  A.  Fuck.

I’ll keep reading + writing

From this day + hour + minute + second on

This writing of literature that I’m beginning to recall

Will never go wrong!

I am seeing light everywhere I go

From the time my sister comforted me after I realized I’m single again

It doesn’t bother me anymore

It’s been the thing that still brightens me from within

I hope I get my acting/writing career starts during this time of college

I hope my dreams come true

As for the nightmares I have something to say:

Fuck you!

Women rule the entire universe

I’m becoming a woman beyond 8 years of downfall

Jesus has been with me every step of the way

When I get a new cell phone…Nicole + Marie are the first ones to call

The first person to I text will be my brother Okami

Okami is a tomboy + a sexy one too

Okami Mitsukai, although I have a Facebook nickname that more than matches yours,

Thank you.

Zack Obruck, the best influential in all the world,

You are so much better than every hater who is such a pain in my ass

You + Jeremy + Scott + Randy + Anthony…

You boys will make my career last!

Right now all I wanna do is read + write…

But, most of all, have all my fun

Once I start writing all night when I get home

When I die, that means my lonely legacy is done

The first hater I have in my life is a man

Even before I was born, God was mad

My siblings + I have that same hater

That hater is my dad.

All the pain is dying away

I have been getting a lot of plans in + out of my head

Time will work these mother-puppies out

I’ll get old eventually…for now I’m not DEAD!

Bachelorettehood is enjoyed best with pen + paper

While your sister is checking stuff out

Tomorrow is at the nursing home in the morning

The rest of the day I can simply wipe myself out

I will not give up my dreams

For everything so goddamn fake

The recent relationship, like I said before,

Was 100% motherfucking fake!

Oh, the glorious days of “war”

Haters will hate to the end

As for me + the adventure

Happy days are here again!

Pastor Lowrie was right

About Jesus all along

He will save your life

Don’t get me wrong

Marie + Zack, you are the reason I laugh at haters in my head

Routines I need to start but not right now, anywho

Even though they’re away but not always

I’ve always known the French quote is true

I will always cherish this quote to my heart

Right to the very end

Fate chooses our family

We choose our friends

Blame it on Jeopardy!

Alex Trebek mentioned it + I was spellbound

I want everyone to know

That this writing will be long around

Thank you, everyone, hater or not,

For making wake up from an 8-year nightmare

I’m hyper, bipolar, + autistic

+ beautiful enough to whip my hair

There is one thing I must say to my dad,

To my mother now has been all around hateful,

You are no longer my dad,

You made yourself all around unfaithful

You should NOT have been my father,

But now I’m just a bastard sacrificial lamb

Leaving a promising legacy to an unpredictable world

About you….I just don’t give a damn.

I’ll have to grin + bear it through life

Without even trying to go down again

But I just hope to Jesus those times are few

All because of the guiding light I have within

There is light at the end of each dark tunnel

There is humor in every disaster

There is once upon a time…

+ then there is a happily ever after

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