Hey people……I am so sorry. I just got into a fight with Grandma and I realized that compromise can really help if you just listen to your mind. Really, just listen to the way you talk and the way you listen to your mind. The mind and heart are better than any mouth running in person, mine especially. I just got $45 ($25 in a check, $20 in cash) and I wanted to do something special with it for myself, but I was so…..I can’t tell you the rest of the story if I wanted to. My chest is now hurting and I don’t know what to do with that.
I need to write some new stuff on my poetry blog on WordPress.com and I must know during my session with Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata…..because I need some therapy……real therapy. But, in the meantime, during summer, though, I must get my *&! out of medicational monitoring and I’m sick and tired of myself and my bullshit and it’s killing me! What the fuck must I do?! What am I going to do with me?!
I cried like hell and I hope to God grandma don’t mean to say never to come back again. Like that Lassie episode on RTV a time ago. I keep thinking about Lassie and the way she reacted to the way Jeff talked to her when she and Domino her best horse friend were just trying to make friends. I don’t know and I’m in serious doubt and God is not happy with me right now. I doubt I’ll be in Heaven, and I must change while I got a life ahead of me. I can’t do suicide and that is not an option, not even a choice. I have a second chance in life, every second of every day, and I must take that seriously in order to change my thought frequencies and my life.
Until the next post….
♥Maverick Swaniel Genji♥