All posts for the month October, 2013

Things That Piss Me The Fuck Off Tuesday: 10.29.2013 Edition

Published October 30, 2013 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

Hi, people!  Sorry about my 8 day hiatus, but I will make it up to you someday.

This story….One word at a time is best, so….I just can’t help but wonder how I myself would have turned out if this happened to me….Hell, I would be incapable of writing this right now, right?

If the Portuguese couple were in America, and this happened….Boy, they would be buried in ashes right now, instead of jailed.  Hoping Rick Steves doesn’t have to hear me say:
The only reason this couple, these unfit motherfuckers, is pissing me the fuck off is because this little girl…..this girl….is not going to see her siblings….like, ever, because of them, her deadbeat parents!  Even worse, she won’t even speak!  I wish, just wish, if an American couple adopts her, and this little girl never sees the deadbeat motherfuckers again, she’ll be better off representing our Special Olympics happily, in Jesus’ name!  I need that to happen….cause ain’t nobody got time for deadbeats or designer whores!


Can’t blog too much, as it’s almost Wednesday morning at midnight, so…buonanotte….




Me, Myself, + Music Monday: 10.21.2013 Edition

Published October 21, 2013 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

Good morning, world!  I sincerely apologize for not blogging this past weekend.  I got so busy yesterday trying to find the perfect tablet to buy this Christmas, and it nearly took me all night without my awareness of time passing.  The only site for cheaper ones was Walmart and they’re on rollback sale.  I totally forgot that pawn shops have gently used tablets for $200 or less…. damn me.  I should ask Media Exchange on Hondo Pass if they have any tablets on sale and how much…. I also need to find a way to get an Amazon gift card and purchase a new DVD player adapter from the site….if only grandma could understand….

Well, anyway, that’s what happened to me recently.

I had to swap the eBook version of Shit My Dad Says for the eBook version of James Patterson’s Confessions of a Murder Suspect because of this:  Classics are not dead because James Patterson lives.  (Putting a bookish twist on Christopher Titus’ Neverlution quote:  Music is dead because Lady Gaga lives. [2011])

Sorry, but my laptop computer is so on my nerves right now, so when I get home, I’m going to ask grandma for a $69 tablet computer (as in iPad, but cheaper at Walmart, like $69 dollars plus tax, not like the kindle) as a month early Christmas present for myself (as in out of my own Social Security money), like, straight out ask and tell her about my slow computer, too, plus tell her that my new social worker, Jessica, will take me to Walmart and make sure I get it right, too, and promise her that I will take amazing care of it, and if she says yes, I will let her (Jessica) know.  I know Grandma will love her, too!  I’m a little nervous about how I should ask her….but, as long as I respectfully convince her, I’ll be fine.

Time for……EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!  (Season 3, Episode 2)

Contenders:  Al Capone versus Blackbeard!  (Holy shit, I’m putting this on my status update) :] I’ve always had a crush on epicLLOYD, but, since he’s married (for real!), I’m wishing we can be best friends, once I become famous, someday!  ^_^  Sorry, ladies, he’s been married 4 years….and don’t be picking on Nice Peter either!



Top 5 ✪ Take 5 Friday: Yesterday’s Post I Took Too Far So I’m A Make It Up To You Today (10.18.2013) Edition

Published October 19, 2013 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

Hiya, people.  A little FYI on yesterday’s post:
While I was at the clinic, my uncle took my Mortal Kombat Trilogy and put it under the bed, as it turned out, so I was the investigative douchebag on that post, so I sincerely apologize to you and to God for that, okay?

Let’s get going to the top 5 News Headlines of la noche:

1.  Remarkable Titanic Violin, Believed To Have Been Played As Doomed Ship Sank, Expected To Fetch £200,000
2.  Giant Asteroid Zips By Earth
3.  Italian military court convicts ex-Nazi for 1943 massacre of 120 officers in Greece
4.  Cop Who Watches Too Much Breaking Bad Confuses Jolly Ranchers for Crystal Meth
5.  1st Flying Car by 2015

I’m a take 5 words and just say that I love:

Peanut butter and dark chocolate.



Things That Take Me Away Thursday: The Relative/Video Game Thief Took It Way Too Far Today (10.17.2013) Edition

Published October 18, 2013 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

Hi, people.  Today was a wonderful day….for me, at least….until someone in my family took the shit way too motherfucking far while I was gone.  I took myself to the clinic for social work follow up and to make up for my missed field trip to Dairy Queen with my anger management classmates and teacher.  This was my 1st attempt at anger management in 2 years.  Except a new text was given to Amanda and all employees of the clinic I go to now, so it won’t be hard to grasp mental notes to be applied to my life.
When I called grandma to let her know my whereabouts, my uncle was in the vocal background….. and what really took the shit too goddamn motherfucking far was that he was the only person that inspected my room at the time I called grandma about my location and my time occupation.  While I was away!  And, after the class, which was amazing, lemme tell you, I walked all the way from the clinic to home without a bus ride….and the first thing I did, after giving grandma Pyramid 100s reds cigarettes for four dollars and thirty eight cents at Dollar General, was inspect my own room for anything missing…..and, hell, sure enough, there was one motherfucking thing MISSING:  Mortal Kombat Trilogy (classic PlayStation) created in 1996, 4 years after the very first version (super Nintendo) was created, the year of my birth.  That really concerned me, but also pissed me off the motherfucking instant I saw my Mortal Kombat Trilogy missing from my dresser, the last motherfucking place it was this morning after I played it a little bit to calm my nerves due to my interrupted sleep patterns.  I texted him bout this, and I haven’t been getting any response from him whatsoever.  At all!  I may not be pissed off anymore, but I’m still concerned about this, more than being antisocial towards anybody at the moment.

My cousin, Lona, wishes this concern to be put at rest once my shit is recovered.
My friend’s mom, Ritsuka, aka Mrs. Yarborough, told me to get a safe, put All my games in there, and nail the Barker to the ground, in Jesus’ name, in the context of Joel Olsteen….and that my mind is set on doing, keeping my shit safe once and for all, if that’s the first or last thing I’ll do!  Thank you, ladies, for standing up with me on this.  God bless them and those who agree with me tonight.

Lesson: Never, EVER, trust your shit to anyone…. ANYONE… except to Jesus, God, and yourself.  End of story.

You all have a sweet dream, cause this nightmare is bound to get…. Coyote Ugly, yo!  In Jesus’  name!



Wholesome Writing Word Wednesday: 10.16.2013 Edition

Published October 16, 2013 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

Good morning, people!  Get ready for a new word today!  Today’s word:  pristine.

This word was Anglicized in the 16th century, from the Latin word “pristinus”.

The meanings of this word are:
1.  Belonging to the earliest period or state
2. Not spoiled, corrupted, or polluted; in perfect condition

Sentence for meaning no. 1:
The Scarlet Letter was created in pristine 1850.

Sentence for meaning no. 2:
Diamonds are the most pristine jewels in the world.

That’s all, folks!



Me, Myself, and Music Monday: 10.14.2013 Edition

Published October 14, 2013 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

Now I’m all cleared up, let me tell you all about me and my Fuck me epiphany in a few sentences:

I selfishly spent all my food stamps on junk food, except $7.
I lied about it, then cried myself shifty as fuck as MOST of it was taken back.
I wish I had a Blu E-cigarette and some Samuel Adams chocolate lager to relax me, I fucking thought to myself, crying my goddamn eyes out and feeling shifty as fuck.
I slowly am feeling better now, but, my headache is being a bitch still, okay?

Moral of the story: God provideth if asked for, but if thou abuseth, He will taketh away, so make the honorable decision and do the honorable thing in grocery shopping.  And in life, as well.

Today’s song lyrics are from Epiphany by Staind, from the 2001 album, Break the Cycle:

‘Cause it’s always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

This song I won’t play tonight, unless I start feeling shitty again, then, yeah, I will start playing that shit on repeat.  I might have to start playing Pressure, too, cause of this blinding headache I got from myself being shitty.  No need to crave beer or a Blu e-cigarette starter kit cause of myself causing me to feel shitty.



Top 6 ✪ Take 6 Sunday: 10.13.2013 Edition

Published October 13, 2013 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

Hiya, people!   Here are the Top 6 News Headlines for today:

1.  Baby Hope ID’d, arrest made as NYPD cracks 22 year old cold case of girl stuffed in picnic cooler
2. Two year old twins Found Locked in Room Alone
3.  Syrian gunmen kidnap 7 International Red Cross workers
4.  Few deaths in cyclone lashing India, mass evacuations credited for saving many lives
5.  Man nearly killed by train when car got stuck on tracks
6. Canadian cable and satellite TV must offer more consumer choices: industry minister James Moore

Finally got the balls to watch Darth Vader kick Hitler’s ass for the last time.   And, I hate to spoil the ending for the take 6, but….

3 strikes and you’re out, Hitler!



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