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All posts for the month February, 2015

A Cold Heart Is Nothing, Warmth Is Forever

Published February 16, 2015 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

Introduction:

Reader discretion is advised.

I’ve been addicted to reading since 1995.  Those were the happiest times of my life.

In my mind, I force myself to study hard, even after I have a white graduate gown and school ring on my finger.  In my mind, I enforce self-restraint and self-control.

Try as I want, however, I can’t change my high school past.

I destroyed my reading life by nearly going to jail on charges of shoplifting and attempted sexual harassment.

As a result of my high school bullshitting, I have been heavily drowned in guilt resulted from the rejection of a nameless memory…

Since then, I’ve been wanting to erase all my memories in life.  I never even looked at my yearbooks at all, just contemplating on throwing my high school away, too, and…the pain from the guilt I’m living with is just too much…..to carry with me.

But, if I find a warmer-hearted person to talk to about, and help me move on past, this shame, then I can find peace with myself…..

I’m sorry, but I can’t carry this guilt anymore…….Sorry.

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