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Fiesty Frisky Friday: 10.06.2017: The Time Flies Way Too Fast When You’re Working Your Ass Off For What’s Needed Edition

Published October 6, 2017 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

…I am one of the few people in our happy little family willing to own up to what they did.  -Stephen King, Rita Hayworth + Shawshank Redemption, from Different Seasons: Four Novellas

It’s going to be a long night of reading to Classical music celebrating Autumn tonight, that is, if I don’t get my ass some sleep first.  But, before I start reading, here’s the recap of this week:

Monday, I ripped George off again, this time I cried like a bitch, then put myself into accountability through my bipolar talking shit on the last couple blog posts….on purpose, to teach my ass a lesson on Tuesday.  Wednesday + yesterday were better, though.

This morning….was the giftiest bitch of all.  Mother Nature paid a weekly visit, thank God.  I was unprepared, like usual, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t ready to face it again.  So, it may be WTMI for y’all, but it’s likely that by Happiness Hemp Day next week that the bleeding stops, and then next Feisty Frisky Friday will be over for ‘nother month.  Yaaaaaay.  [BTW, if I said too much on the Mother Nature subject, I’m sorry.]

One of my replacement copies for the first two books I ordered three years ago, the Penguin Classics Deluxe Edition of The Tale of Genji by Lady Murasaki Shikibu, is way surprisingly likely to be in my mail tomorrow, so another yay for me, too.  My replacement copy of The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson will be here by either Monday or Tuesday next week.  The week after that, is my 7-volume A Song of Ice + Fire  collection will be in my mail!  Isn’t this beautiful tonight, mis amores?!  I’m so ecstatic about my books coming in the mail.  The upcoming 5 leather bound books [A Song of Ice + Fire] will be up to order by Monday, October 23; I already paid my cell phone bill very early, so that’ll be my reward for waiting on saving every damn $21 left over.  Then, once the next Monday comes by, Bernie is getting a shave off.  Then, by December 30, he will get shaved again, and every two months after by the near end of the month.  No exceptions nor excuses.  The reason why I make sure my shit is front and center in justified format is because straight lines on blog are cool.  Jagged…not so much, in my eyes.  Door closed and calmness reigning over the place, it’s time for me to jet to my reading out of my 4.5 year slump!  See you tomorrow!

Ash Dixon.

 

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Things That Take My Breath Away Thursday: 10.05.07: The Art of Reading Is A Sexy Thang Edition

Published October 5, 2017 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

I’d bolted through a closing door/and I would never find myself being bored…  -Pet Shop Boys, Being Boring

It’s been an astoundingly busy couple of days, and all I can say about today is that I’m grateful for all my good efforts, which have replaced my bad efforts in the most beneficially astounding way.  I don’t want to leave this place for another because, honestly, I’d have nothing to do and I’d be stuck in a house all day, trying to search for better, if that happens….again, frankly.  I’m never going to be used to moving around, trust me.  I can’t explain how comfortable I’ve become in my own headquarters.  Back when I was a preteen until days before I turned 22 years old, I couldn’t even fucking do shit with myself.  That was suicidal boredom.  [By the way, if I were Mexican, being raised by Grandma would have been worse than being black, holler if you hear me!]  Now that I’m with my Mom + Pops, with no need to be raised any longer, my life is way easier to bear.  Having to watch my own back can be a bitch, though, when it comes to my food and privacy, but, other than those, I’m fine now.

Now that my reminisce about my days with Grandma is over with, lemme update you with what was on the agenda with my neighbor, Georgie:  He needed some cat litter for his kitten, Cali.  I bought some $13 at the Pet’s Barn, returned it to said supply store, bought a 20 pounder bag for $5, and went to the Big 8 for 99-cent baking soda; in between those, were the 12 cans of Blue Buffalo cat food, the catnip-laced Temptations cat treats, and 2 apples, having me earn $10 for the whole shebang of shit I put up with.  I had already put up a whole load of cans of pop in the fridge, in case he didn’t tell me to do so before (and I forgot!).  I get a second chance with Carl’s Jr.’s Breakfast Burger (yesterday, Mom ate my first one, God bless her, anyway!), since George wasn’t too interested in it.  At least it won’t be so greasy tonight.  *musical chuckle*.

I’m installing 30 updates into my apps on my Samsung Galaxy J3 Prime cell phone right now.  Tonight is going to be a very long night, especially when I have to watch what I eat around my son, Otis James William Smith-Kincaid (yes, my Chihuahua wants what I eat; holla if you hear me!).  I can’t always go apeshit on him, otherwise the animal control is on my ass for that, okay?  I can only tolerate so much of the little one.

I just washed myself before I went on typing this.  So, here’s the agenda, once I add this to my posted roster as no. 100:  Get off the keyboard, turn off my Spotify, go to my bed, read my book, go to sleep by 9 pm tonight.  So, I’ll update tomorrow, if anything.  See you on the 5 am up stretch.

Ash.

Things That Piss Me The Fuck Off Tuesday: 10.03.2017: The “Will the Next Chester Bennington Please Stand Up?” Edition, Part 2

Published October 3, 2017 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

I Found Bliss In Ignorance -Linkin Park, One Step Closer

Before anyone starts scolding my ass on the first part, what I wrote on there was very sad but also very true.  I can’t believe I took 8 aspirin yesterday over what had actually happened, which, in turn, is my fault, but still, I take full responsibility for what I wrote, whether I want to explain or not.  So, please forgive the raw emotion I put into the first part of the post, but also remember the reasons why I said what I said earlier.  My life ain’t worth fucking up over what is my damn fault.  If I’m such a scam artist, then why can’t I just be hired to scam the Republicans out of their selfish shit?  That way, they’ll feel what George felt when I scammed him, and only then will they work as janitors for the same schmeasly motherfucking minimum wage we’ve had for years.  Am I right?  But, then again, it’s still my fault for the dumb shit I put everyone through, and…..this damn dose of my own medicine is at its bitterest right now, that, honestly, I’m getting the worry that I’m going to be stuck in the damn house all damn day until a miracle happens, like I get struck by lightning, and the lightning breaks my leg, for instance.  If I believe that there’s going to be a next time for me and him……I better think again, to be honest.  There’s a fat chance for a next time.  And then there’s the sick feeling of staying home all day for the rest of the week, except for dog walks and mailbox checks, after I get or had gotten fired, which is probably what happened yesterday.  Lemme not think about stripping for $100s and shit; that is senselessly useless.  Nobody wants me to be a stripper in community college, so, fuck it.  That ho shit is out the list.  I need to find something more beautiful than this dumb trouble I’m in so I’m able to get out of it, once and for all.  Right now, I can’t explain how much of a stupid bitch I am.  I just fucking can’t.

Ash.

Things That Piss Me The Fuck Off Tuesday: 10.03.2017: The “Will the Next Chester Bennington Please Stand Up?” Edition

Published October 3, 2017 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

I’m One Step Closer To the Edge/And I’m About To Break…  -Linkin Park, One Step Closer

This lyric has hit home too many times.  Yesterday was one of them.  I ripped someone off way more than I should have, which is never, and now I wish I had the ability to rip every Republican out of their money, savings accounts included.  In other words:  I wish I didn’t.  It led me to thinking suicidally, which led to many people in my mind going to visit my grave over something that ultimately the fucking truth, which is the bitterest dose of my own medicine to date.  It pissed me off so badly, I slammed doors and nearly broke holes in the wall.  Yes, I relapsed myself.  Was it necessary or uncalled-for?  It was very self-disrespectful, and totally uncalled-for.  Was it worth the destructive behavior I caused towards Father?  Absolutely not.  Will yesterday teach me a hugely valuable lesson in lesbianism, poverty, loneliness, and old age?  If I don’t force-feed myself this damn bitter dose of my own bullshit, then yes.  Yes it will, every damn motherfucking day for the rest of my life.  The taste is so shitty and so bitter, that it’s really going to motherfucking stain me for a long, long, long, long time.  I better teach myself how not to steal ever again, even if it means having to take 3 hours of long walks in the park without my cell phone in my presence every day to prevent any future destructive behaviors inside this place or anywhere else for that matter, even if it means having to play loud ass heavy metal to calm myself down, even if it means just not saying or doing anything stupid anymore by forcing myself into walking in extremely cold weather, and hope to God I don’t die of hypothermia….that is, if people don’t find me first.  I just…..need to fucking find something else to do for work, otherwise my life is over and there’s nothing I can do about it.  The life I’ll be forced to live is filled with stripping, lesbians, poverty…..and……if I don’t want any of that……..Now is the time for me to grow up, otherwise the hard way will claim a new victim very soon enough.  Nobody I have in my life will want me anymore if I become a force-fed lesbian from jail.  My own medicine is so fucking bitter.  I wish it just wasn’t, but I’ll eat my own sin and my own bullshit, anyway.  It’s the only fucking way I’ll woman up to everything I did wrong.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to cry…..yet again.  I’m sorry.

 

Ash.

♥Me, Myself, + Music Monday: The 08/07/2017 Edition, also known as: The Books > Dead Love Edition: Part Two♥

Published August 8, 2017 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

Talk is Cheap, Motherfucker!  -DMX, Ruff Ryders’ Anthem

Siblings of the International Social Scene:

I had to change up my Tumblr sharing for WordPress just then. Now that the shit’s all taken care of, let’s continue the theme of today’s post with Part Deux, yes?

I had to get to the clinic to pick up my money, then went to the bank, deposited the money, and, all of a sudden, the transaction is delayed until tomorrow.  [*pterodactyl screech*, *growls*].  Why doth thou hurteth me so, bank?  *sigh*

DMX is on repeat for the whole writing of this blog post.  Yes, I’m talking of the Ruff Ryders’ Anthem from ’98.  Most of my friends are busy with jobs, and I’m running around like a fucking headless chicken, doing chores and errands.  I need to save for school so I can go the fuck back, shit!  I don’t care if it takes me half a year, I need to save money for that because what did people think I brought 200 sheets of paper and binders for?  Hoarding?  No.  School?  Yes, + I intend to go back and Cinderella Man the shit out of Math and American Social Studies (Prehistoric-1492).  Once my financial aid is out of suspension, I’m never making that social media mistake again!  I mean, the library is serious business on weekdays and fun on breaks + weekends, so that will get me in the up high….that is, if I can get myself to leave the laptop at home.  It’s either that or distract myself with DMX all day with headphones on in school [as in community college].  Other than that, I’ll be in good standing with ’em once I get to passing classes again.  This time, it’s for keeps, and I mean it, so it’d mean a lot to pass 2 classes in order to get financial aid again and mean business.

I better finish part two of this blog post with:

  1. I had talked to James, my boyfriend, last night, via Messenger. It was amazing.
  2.        I had to wait until Mom and Pops came home late to have me some sleep, after playing Super Monkey Ball DX on PS2….naked, and
  3.        I’m extremely sorry, and I love you guys.

♥AshRo♥

♥ Me, Myself, + Music Monday: The 08/07/2017 Edition, also known as: The Books > Dead Love Edition: Part One♥

Published August 7, 2017 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

Siblings of the International Social Scene:

The reason there is no quote to start the post I’m writing right now is because, well, to be frank, separations and divorce give me depression, along with the Clownministration we have for news, depression causes me stress, and, worst of all, stress makes me sick and in physical excruciating pain.  Therefore, in short, sad news makes me sick, just like stupid-ass people.  Other than that, let’s get to books, which make me happier in these times of depression-induced news, shall we?  Yes, okay!  Let’s go!

Saturday, I was given $15.  I snuck out the apt complex with my stylish bag I recieved from someone kind while I recycled cans for loose change last month.  I went to the half-off book sale at the rear of the local library, and bought 24 items (21 books, 3 DVD sets) for $14.  Then I went to the main compartment of the library and bought 2 more James Patterson Women’s Murder Club novels for the last dollar I had, which total 26 items for $15.  I went home a happy motherfucker.  One of them was the long -coveted copy of The Stand:  The Complete & Uncut Edition by Stephen King with the crow on the very front cover.  Twenty-five motherfucking cents, in very good condition!  Mission ‘complished, motherfuckers!  [Excuse my language, please, because the excitement got the better of my brain here.]

Anyone ever get the annoying feeling when you press the email instead of the delete button by accident?  I do, and it sucks.

I’m playing Soul Survivor by Jeezy + Akon from Jeezy’s album, Let’s Get It: Thug Motivation, as I’m writing and updating this blog.   (Yes, it is on repeat.)  Can you believe that I’m 4 blog posts away from 100?!

Okay, I tried to find the photo that I shared as a Facebook story and a post on there, and it looks like I have to download it into my OneDrive.  Damn it.  I’ll do that later once I get well rested or something.  More coffee it’ll be later on, right after I get myself ready for my money to pay bills.

I need to get my wheel-free Heelys on my feet and pack lightly in an hour and 7 minutes, and editing this on the go is a huge distraction, so at-home editing will have to do.  If there is a part two to this blog post, that means I’m 3 posts away from 100 written posts.  I want to make a celebratory playlist on Spotify for that day, so stay tuned for that, why don’t you?  Word to the wise:  Take control of your surroundings.  That way nobody gets so irritated enough to kick me in the teeth over one-track mind BS.

Before I sign off, there is a piece of sad news from Goodreads:  Starting two weeks from now, the reading site will no longer send QOTD emails, so the Quotes department will have to do from that, so if you see a QOTD from the Goodreads website, that’s why.  I’m going to have to start my reading video series over, since people can’t seem to understand the fact that, once I start recording a reading video, peace + quiet are required, and, unfortunately, doing it at night won’t even cut it now, so I don’t know when a new batch of reading videos will show up….yet.  But, when I do, I’ll let you know on Tumblr what the rules are on recording my video series, if I still have time to spare for tonight before my bedtime at 9 pm.  Good grief, when will anyone give me the time I deserve, when I’m dead of thinking that I’m old?  I neither want nor need to think old at all, yo.  It’s just not worth it.

To Be Continued…

♥Sunset, Sunrise, + Starlight Saturday: The 07/15/2017 Edition, also known as: The Lemme D.E.A.R. Edition♥

Published July 15, 2017 by swanielwolfambrosia2010

If you permanently have a new puppy, You Might Be A Redneck.  -Jeff Foxworthy, Jeff Foxworthy’s You Might Be A Redneck If… 2017 Calendar, Wednesday, February 22, 2017 joke of the day.

Universal Social Squad:

It’s been exactly three months since the last Saturday blog.  Allow me to speed things up, starting with the bad news:

  1. I got fined $16.99 in outstanding library fines.
  2.  I forgot to put my portion of the light bill on there this month, due to book buying excitement.
  3.  That excitement turned into part happy, part disappointed:  Happy because my Lunar Chronicles came in 2 separate days, disappointed because I got refunded my $50 because the supply ran out.  Now I have to go save 4-5 weeks of $20 each in order to get my 2013 Special Edition Harry Potter box set in paperback on either eBay or Amazon, and that sucks for me to do it, but I fucking might as well everytime I get money until I reach either $80 or $100 to foot the bill for the third time in a row, which will be the rabbit’s charm.  Until then, I can’t do anything today, due to cell phone bill pay….either that or get the shit cut off.
  4. No digital cameras in my possession anymore.  I hope my mom keeps her Xmas promise, because, if not, I’m going to have to save a lot more for a new digital camera.  Had she said the Sony was NOT for sale, then I wouldn’t be writing this, would I?   All I have is a Sony 16 GB SD card to show for the sale.  *sigh*.
  5. Last, but not least, my free time is dwindling away and so are my chances to have anything to myself, like I said [look at no. 4, idiot].  These old people are fucking lucky I’m their roommate/daughter and not Moses from Ye Olde Testamente.  Very fucking lucky.  A woman can dream, can’t I?  I’m trying very hard to type this, but, damn.

Now, the good news:

  1. My food stamps are now $194/month.
  2. My copy of the Lunar Chronicles series books [pictured above] came in on Wednesday [Stars Above] via UPS + eBay and yesterday [Cinder, Scarlet, Cress, Fairest, Winter] via USPS + Amazon.  I can’t wait for my copy of the graphic novel, Wires and Nerve.
  3. I got to buy the special event season of The X-Files, the second, third, and fourth seasons of LostPeter Jackson’s King Kong Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror on PlayStation 2, the 40th anniversary edition of Mary Poppins, + Blade on DVD at the pawn shop today.  (Just when I thought one season will do, 4 is way better!)  I want to binge watch Lost right now to ignore the old people arguing over who did what.  Only God can judge us.  We can’t judge each other.  The only drawback to this:  Who wants to pay my cell phone bill, yo?
  4. My SSI is reinstated, as of last month.  I forgot to tell you this earlier.
  5. Last, but never least, I would like to say that, depending on circumstances….I might do reviews on my blog, this one, at least.  I haven’t figured out the details yet, but, as soon as I get this on the green light, I’ll be able to tell you my system of ratings, depending on what I’m watching, listening to, or reading at the moment.

These past few weeks have been hard on my parents/roommates.  It’s just my mom’s paranoia that doesn’t get me anymore.  I’m not paranoid myself, but I just talk to myself in public to remember what the hell I really need to do in the next few days.  It’s totally normal to do so, really.  In your head or in public, self-talk is beneficial.  Trust me on this.  I really hope things look up for Mom and Pops, so please pray for me.  The probability of writing another part of today’s blog is highly unlikely, but, maybe, just maybe, if I get myself motivated enough to walk more often, then I’ll be able to write more blog posts like this one.  I hope to write an update on this blog post, and soon.  I’ll write tonight or tomorrow.

♥Ash♥

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