When life offers you a dream so far beyond your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. -Isabella Marie Swan Cullen, Twilight
Brothers + Sisters:
Before I get to what’s been pissing me off lately, I’m going to get this off my chest once and for all.
After seven years, I’ve decided to forgive myself from the mistake of having a crush on my former high school choir teacher, letting go of the grudge I’ve held against my high school for that same amount of time in the process. The reason why I decided to do it is too damn obvious: The crush I had was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. It’s all my fault, including the grudge. All I wanted was popularity, which I never got from anyone…..so, you know what? I’d rather live as Samantha Holmes in 222B Baker Street right now than make my American live a living hell ever again. The crush, the rejection, the overdoses, the anger towards my high school and him…..it’s been my fucking fault all along. I ruined myself for one person who has a life still…and now, as I’m failing to hold back tears, I realized that if I ever go to a class of 2010 reunion and he’s there, and I do any violent iota to him, then I would not be here, writing this. Therefore, I may be unable to go to any 2 class of 2010 reunion because karma has bit me in my ass for that mistake. Once I make right with myself by getting a job, saving money, making new friends, by just moving on with my life, being just fine without caring about shit, maybe later on in life for the time being will someone read this and say, “I’m happy she moved on; let’s see if she and I can talk again.” My life isn’t worth bullshit, so I’m done crying and sitting idle, for it’s time for me to grow up.
Now let’s get to what’s been pissing me off lately, other than myself:
The Slaveholders Admisitration has been making me sick to my stomach, so much so that all I want to do is finish my college education, pack up my things, take my dogs, Bernie + Otis, my boyfriend, James, and his dog, move to Canada, live there, never to return again until King Cheeto is dead. The more I hear of them, the more silent I’ve become. Ever since the whore got into office, he and his Slaveholding Brohood has made my life a living hell, and my heart colder toward government every second of every day.
I need to do some errands for Grandma, so stay tuned. -A.